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As human beings we live in a world where everything is always in a state of flux and we are always faced with making decisions and choices on how to adjust to changes in our lives and move forward. Small or great, when there is a change in status quo with an outward object that our souls are interacting with, be it a human being, a relationship, a job or anything that becomes a habit and gives us a sense of identity, we have to turn inwardly to a new direction to adjust ourselves to the situation.
The choices we make during these changes and the direction and actions we choose to act upon during these times may seem extremely insignificant in our eyes and in the eyes of the world (the dunya), but may have a big impact on our souls and on outwardly consequences to others that we may not perceive. This is why when we react to something, it is important not to act out of our primary impulse, for this impulse is usually what comes from our nafs, or our ego. Rather, its is better to restraint ourselves, have patience, ground ourselves in god’s knowledge and wisdom and find the right thing to do, and then act upon that secondary impulse that comes from our greater side, the better side of being a human being.
A change in a situation that particularly results in disappointment with an expectation or an outcome means that we are called to do something greater with our lives than that which we have been pursuing. Another kind of change comes from disappointment from our expectations that are not met by others. This happens when we consciously or subconsciously depend on others to bring us our fulfilment. We expect our friendships or a set of relationships to bring us our joys our happiness and to satisfy the unfulfilled dimensions of our being. The prophet Muhammad’s saying paraphrased below by the famous Sufi mystic of the 13th Century provides an answer to those suffering from this sort of a disappointment:
“Direct the consciousness towards god alone. O thou bewildered in the way. For whoever makes Gods care his care, God will relieve him of all his cares. And whoever is distracted by his own concerns, God will not be concerned with what valley (in which place) he loses himself.”
(Paraphrased by Rumi from a hadith of the prophet)
The problem with relying on others to fulfil us is that each one person was born to fulfil his or her own purpose towards god, not towards another human being. To Him belongs everything and to Him everything returns. In other words, everybody was created for God and to fulfil gods’ purpose on earth alone. This is why no person or relationship is ever meant to complete another human being. In many of his poetry Jellaludin Rumi says that we should never “milk” another for our joys our expectations and our needs and satisfaction. Below is a quote from one of his well know prose:
Strip the rainment of pride from your body: in learning put on the garment of humility
Soul receives from soul the knowledge of humility, not from books or speech
Though mysteries of spiritual poverty are within the seekers heart.
She doesn’t yet possess knowledge of those mysteries. Let her wait until her heart expands and fills with light
God said, “…did we not expand your breast. For we have put illumination there. We have put the expansion into your heart (Quran 94:1). ”
When you are the source of milk, why are you milking another? An endless fountain of milk is within you: why are you seeking milk with a pail? You are a lake with a channel to the sea, be ashamed to seek water from a pool. For did we not expand your chest (Quran 5:12).
Again, don’t you possess the expansion? Why are you going about like a beggar?
Contemplate the expansion of the heart within you.That you may be reproached by , do you not see ?
(Rumi, Mathnawi V 1061; 1064-1072)
A person’s completion lies in following his or her calling and through this calling that person is likely to meet and form the right set of relationships. These Relationships are those where you support and love others not for any personal or emotional fulfilment but purely for the sake of God. The sufi Sari al Saqati (A.H. 253), said that There is no true love between two people until they say “ya ana” to each other. Ya ana means thou are I, but it also means that you love for that person that which you love for yourself. You want for them what you want for yourself and you wish them all the best. And this kind of love is the highest form of love as it is not dependent or motivated by self interest or self satisfaction and can only be done by those who know that god is the source and the rightful owner of all things in life and regularly practice being rooted in god by submitting to Him.
A calling doesn’t necessarily have to be a profession. In its most basic sense it could mean taking responsibility to do ones best in the tasks they are called to do day to day, be it sustaining a family or doing those daily tasks they need to do to sustain and fulfill their immediate obligations. But these tasks become our calling when we bring god conciousness in our lives and making even the smallest of our decisions in light of secretly earning the eternal gift of “god being pleased with us and our soul being pleased with god”.
If we find ourselves in a position where we do not know exactly what we are called to do, the best thing to do in such a situation is to support another person in his or her calling for building a good cause. This is part of, if not the main message behind the Sura Asr, (Quran 103, v 1-3), to do good, to create partnerships to achieve good ends and join together in the common cause with patience and consistency.
“By the token of time through Ages, Verily Man is in loss, Except those who have faith and do righteous deeds And join together in the mutual teaching of truth and of patience and constancy” (Yusuf Ali’s translation)
To join people working for a good cause may not necessarily mean being present with the person or group in physical form but can also mean joining together with the spirit of the amal (work) of the person which they are doing. The spirit of their work that is geared towards the beauty of achieving gods objectives on earth. It means that if we cannot physically or emotionally join a particular individual or organization that is dedicated to a good cause, then we can do so by our intentions, by harbouring our best wishes towards their best interest.
And if we are unable to fully appreciate the extent of effectiveness or good a persons calling may bring, it is equally important never to try to criticize, hamper or denounce the calling that has come to them from god. For, in doing this, we have to be aware that we may unknowingly be teaming up with negative forces stemming from within our own ego that has yet to redeem itself from gods light (or god’s Nur) from unrealized past resentments, insecurities and wounds caused by disappointments. If this is the case, the ego has to be looked at closely and analyzed. Has the ego been affected in some way and does it now need to be worked upon? Usually resolving these issues are done with a simple choice to make oneself a better person. It is done with effort and patience and purification that comes from submission, submission from all that we are holding back from god .We can then be join souls and intentions with others in the pursuit of gods beautiful work and objectives.
The author Thomas Moore in his most recent book “Life at Work” describes An Opus to be the act of “getting life together and inwardly becoming a real person.” He states that “it is no coincidence that the word is also used for a musical composition or an artist’s total production. “For you are and all the work you do in your life can also be described as an opus or a piece of art in its entirety”.
In keeping with the spirit of the verse from the Quran’s Sura Asr, a person should never insult another persons OPUS and their achievements or efforts. When we insult a person, his/her work, organization, commitment and achievements with our own limited judgement, we may be insulting their calling to god, the work that god has ordained for them or for the benefit of humanity. For God may be well pleased with their efforts in His understanding of things which could be undertaken and achieved on His behalf.
Also, when we judge another being, his work and achievements negatively we are seeing with one eye, not two. One eye that only sees reality the way things appear as we know it, at face value and as we understand it through our own limited understanding and judgement. But to see with two eyes is to see with the set of eyes that Friends of God see with, because it is the second set of eyes which contains the attributes of patience, wisdom and moreover a humility that knows that we can never be aware of the entirety of the pieces of reality put together that add, subtract, bring justice and balance the running of the Gods Kingdom on Earth (or his Mulkh) who’s knowledge belongs to god alone.
The best way to a fuller life, a remedy to disappointments and the only way to lead a life of true strength and fulfilment, one that is devoid of milking others and one that is devoid of resentment, is to Give it All to the One who Owns it All. In other words, do everything for gods sake, to love, to worship, to work not for any personal gain but with the recognition that it has all come from him and that it all belongs to Him.
Jallaluddiin Rumi’s famous story and poem on the lion, the wolf and the fox exemplifies this in the following story:
A lion, wolf and a fox had gone to hunt in the mountains in quest of food. The fierce lion didn’t need the company of the fox and the wolf to catch his pray. For whoever is in the company of a lion at his hunt is surely to have meat for his supper by night or by day. Yet the lion did the fox and the wolf an honour and gave them his company on the way.
Now the three animals came upon an ox a goat and a rabbit and successfully attacked and killed them. While they were aware that their successful hunt was due to the presence of the majestic king of all animals, the lion, they still wanted the hunt to be divided into equal measures. The lion perceived their intentions, did not declare his knowledge and paid courteous regard to them. But the lion thought to himself, Was my judgement (of what I would give to you of the worldly bounty) not enough for thee? O ye whose understanding and judgement are derived from my judgement and from my worldly gifts?”
While meditating upon this thought the lion continued to smile visibly: do not trust the smiles of the lion! Worldly wealth is like the smiles of God.: it has made us drunken and vain with glory and inwardly bare (deprived of the means to bring our soul to salvation and contentment). Then the lion requested the wolf to divide the bounty according to his knowledge. The wolf divided it by giving an ox to the lion, a hare to the fox and kept a goat to himself stating: the goat is mine!
The lion said,”O wolf how has thou spoken? When I am here, dost thou speak of I and thou.” The lion then seized the wolf with his claws and beheaded it.
The lion next turned to the fox and asked the fox to divide the bounty. The fox bowed low, recognized the rightful owner of all the bounties and gives all the animals from the hunt to the lion, King of animals. The king of animals pleased with the fox says “O fox thou has made justice shine forth: from whom didst thou learn to divide in such a manner?” and the fox replied, “from the fate of the wolf”. And the lion replies “ In so much as thou has pledged to love me, pick up all the three animals and take them and depart. I am thine and all the beasts of chase are thine: set thy foot on the seventh heaven and mount beyond”.
We have all taken decisions vis-à-vis the bounties god has given us like that of the wolf, forgetting where the bounty and glory has come from and who it all belongs to. Forgetting the owner, we have divided our time, attention, focus and desire to other aspirations, things, and relationships and give our King a small morsel of thanks and credit in prayers, thoughts or even in recognition. Like the wolf’s fate, we witness the fate that doesn’t last of those bounties that bring us glory, the glory that rightfully belongs to god. The honour that in the course of time are of no avail to our souls except to bring momentary glory, for nothing is eternal except for the eternal face of God, His will, His commands, His work and His glory and everything and everyone else depends on it
Contribution By Sis Naz Georgas
